We will take a train downtown to some "remote" location that thousands of Yelpers have already blogged about to get a super-delicious a (but potentially generic and loved only by NYU freshman) dumpling that is overwhelmingly difficult to find and digest, but somehow worth it nonetheless.
We will then walk a little too far to find Jacob/Zach/Manya/Other Jews at some slightly overpriced but seemingly "alt" establishment, wherein there is some kind of free popcorn or other snack/PIZZA (?) that everyone will fixate on but not actually eat until 11pm when we will get ourselves a plate and cease any timid efforts to get drunk.
However, if we do not eat at the bar, we will order a few rounds of drinks (would anyone ever order a round for the table? No, we are Jewish. Sorry! I think that might be a fair stereotype! WASPS luv ordering for the table, but we respect others' right to choooooooose when/what/how they want to drink. And we only pay for ourselves.) Anyway, we will order a few rounds of drinks. Patrick will drink more hard alcohol than anyone else, get drunk, and try to convince Jacob to get a little drunker. Jacob will be tired. Zach won't show. Maddie and Maya and Manya will start with wine, and then get a cocktail each, but feel themselves fading before the check arrives. Afterwards, we'll move slowly up the street behind Patrick and Emily, who will be cackling ahead, looking for a better place to go, for more energetic people, for gay men who care about Patrick's thesis and would find his habitual snacking endearing, for an apartment, for the small lights of their nighttime futures. We will continue toward the train, talking the whole time about where else we could possibly go - too far, too expensive, too loud, too late - and we'll all stumble down into the underground heat feeling a bit disappointed, but glad to have gone somewhere, glad to have put on deodorant.